This, right here, this is why I hate Hawaii!
by SGFlutegirl
Summary: While making an arrest, Danny's day goes from pretty good to downright awful. Steve/Danny


This is my first ever Hawaii Five-0 fic, so be gentle. This is also my first crack fic. This is also a Steve/Danny slash fic, but the slash is very minimal.

I have no problem admitting that I'm crazy! LOL

* * *

This, right here, this is why I hate Hawaii!

by: Flute

The case had been one of the easiest cases they'd had since Five-0 was formed. Within 24 hours of receiving the call, Danny had the suspect, Noa Kapule, face down on the ground with handcuffs fastened to his wrists.

"Book 'em, Danno."

"Yeah, yeah…" he turned and grinned up at Steve.

Danny turned back around and leaned down to grab Kapule and pull him to his feet, when the guy turned his head and whispered something at Danny.

"Excuse me?"

The guy just grinned, but didn't say a word.

A strange feeling overcame Danny in that instant, but he shook it off just as quickly. He led Kapule to one of the black and whites. Steve was close behind him. By the time they reached the car, Danny was feeling dizzy.

Danny was uncharacteristically quiet on the drive back to HQ. Steve could tell something was wrong.

"Hey, you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm good." Yeah, not so much. He was dizzy and his head had started pounding.

Steve gave him a look, but didn't push the matter.

Chin and Kono were waiting for them at HQ. Steve walked in, and filled them in on the arrest.

"Hey Boss, where's Danny?"

"He's in the car. He says he's fine, but… I'm taking him home."

Chin nodded. "We've got things here. You go take care of him."

Steve said "Thanks!" as he turned around and walked back to the car.

**H50H50H50H50**

By the time Steve pulled up in front of their house, Danny was passed out in the passenger seat.

"We're home sleepyhead. You think you can walk, or am I going to have to carry you?"

Danny slowly made his way out of the car and into the house. He turned to Steve.

"I'm just gonna go lay down for a bit."

"Okay, I'll be up in a bit to check on you." He leaned down and kissed him. "You sure you don't need to go to the hospital?"

"Yeah, just need to lie down. I'll be fine." He gave a hint of a smile and then turned and made his way up to their bedroom.

Steve didn't like the idea of leaving, but he needed to pick up some things for dinner. He went upstairs, finding Danny fast asleep, and decided not to disturb him. He also noted that Danny had managed to take off his tie, as it was lying haphazardly on the other side of the bed. He walked back downstairs and then left in his truck. The grocery store wasn't that far, and he figured he'd only be gone half an hour at the most.

When he got back to the house, he hurriedly put the groceries away. The first thing he noticed when he was done is that it was way too quiet.

"Danny?" he yelled through the house. No answer.

"Hey, Danno!" Danny always responded when he called him Danno, but still nothing.

Steve ran up the stairs and into the bedroom. He froze at what he saw. Lying against the pillow where Danny had been was a pineapple.

He slowly approached the bed. He grabbed the edge of the blanket and pulled it back. Danny's clothes were laying there, just as he'd been. There was still no sign of him, though. Steve looked around frantically, yelling his name as he went. He tore the whole house apart, even looking in the yard. There was still no sign of him.

Steve ran back up to the bedroom in a panic. He went over to the bed and picked up the pineapple. He looked it over, taking in every detail. It looked like any other pineapple. It wasn't until he inspected it more closely that the truth dawned on him. It smelled like Danny. He could smell Danny's aftershave and the distinctive smell of sweat after a long day.

"Oh shit! Danny?"

**H50H50H50H50**

"Chin, where is Kapule?"

"He's in HPD lockup. What's up, Steve?"

"I need to see him NOW!"

"I'll have him brought to HQ. What's going on?"

"It's Danny. Look, I'll tell you when I get there."

**H50H50H50H50**

After 10 minutes with Kapule, Steve was furious, but there was nothing he could do.

"So, he's stuck like that for twenty-four hours? What the hell for?"

"To teach him a lesson. He does not respect the islands."

"Yeah, and this is a hell of a way to get through to him. If anything, he'll hate being here even more once he's back to normal!" Steve was practically yelling. "Get him out of here."

He left the room and joined Chin. Kono had arrived at some point while he was questioning Kapule.

"So, he really turned Danny into a pineapple?"

"Yes, that bastard turned him into a pineapple." He was trying really hard to stay angry, but the amused look on Kono's face just about had him cracking a smile.

"It is a little ironic, and yeah, it is pretty funny," Chin said.

"I've got to see this!"

"You know he's going to kill me once he's back to normal?"

**H50H50H50H50**

At 11:15 the next morning, Steve laid the pineapple back in the bed where he had found it the day before. He grabbed some of Danny's clothes and laid them at the foot of the bed. He then went downstairs and waited. Chin and Kono had arrived about an hour earlier.

"So, when exactly should he be back to normal?" Kono asked.

"If Kapule was telling the truth, should be any minute now."

As if on cue. "Steven! What the hell?"

"Yep, he's back."


End file.
